he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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