I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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