She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
