I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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