I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
