Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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