In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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