Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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