yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
