Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
