Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
