I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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