Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
