no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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