The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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