Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
