Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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