thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
