Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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