so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
