I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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