Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
