oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
