Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
