hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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