I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
