Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
