I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
