Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
