I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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