I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
