you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
