Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
