Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
