This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Randomize
