i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
