hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
50% drunk capacity currently
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
