lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
