No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
