There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
