So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Let's paint friendship bongs
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Randomize
