do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
