Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
