I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Are we still banned from the library?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
