he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish i was in the wii world.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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