yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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