For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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