The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
