She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
