I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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