dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
